One morning when I arrived at the office, I saw one of my colleagues sobbing at their desk. I was shocked and wasn’t sure what to do. I walked over and asked in a calming voice, “Hey, are you okay?” My colleague looked up and without hesitation said, “Oh of course, it’s nothing; I’m great. How are you doing?” I was shocked to say the least. Clearly, this individual was distressed yet they were able to instantaneously shift their emotions once I reached out.
Over the next few months, I saw other colleagues break down when they didn’t realize others were around. However, their behavior immediately shifted to that of a prototypical professional once they noticed someone else was watching. And, before long, I also began to experience a similar level of intense frustration myself.
I realized then why everyone was so quick to put on a brave face during difficult moments; there was zero trust at this organization. This lack of trust made our jobs more difficult because it inspired a lack of collaboration, ownership, and vulnerability. Employees were afraid to collaborate because of the fear of being thrown under the bus by others. When the ball was dropped, employees were afraid to take ownership because any mistakes would lead to serious consequences. Lastly, both of these factors caused employees to rarely show vulnerability with their colleagues or supervisors. These factors led us to develop less innovative products (because collaboration = innovation), not learn from failure, and experience an unhealthy level of stress.
Mistakes made when trying to build trust
Just about everyone knows that trust is a good thing to have in a company. There are 3 fundamental mistakes leaders make when trying to build trust within their organizations and direct teams.
They look for the quick path or shortcut to achieve trust. Most commonly, this can be seen when leaders add in “trust” as a company core value but there is no accountability beyond that (such as daily practical strategies to hold managers accountable to implement this value or case studies celebrating when managers take a unique approach to build trust on their teams).
Bringing in a keynote speaker and hosting an organizational wide meeting/training (typically a few hours) that focuses on building trust without follow-up; when follow-up doesn’t happen, the lessons learned are forgotten within weeks.
Some leaders believe that business results will help build trust. This is not the case. Moreover, while trying to drive business forward, outcomes are emphasized over the development of trust. This can cause finger pointing, public shaming, and the assumption of negative intent.
If I am a leader, how can I build trust?
Demonstrate continuous interactions over time that facilitate trusting relationships.
Build relationships and learn preferences
Spend time getting to know your people and learn what “good leadership” looks like through each of your employee’s perspectives. There is not a “one-size fits all” approach here. Don’t get me wrong; there are key behaviors that typically help increase trust (which we will talk about shortly) but the right approach is based on the needs of the employee.
Ask the right questions to determine management preferences:
Who was the best manager you’ve ever had?
What types of behaviors or actions did they demonstrate?
Why did those actions specifically help you?
What can I do to make your job easier?
By taking the time to ask these questions it will show your employee that you care and want to support them in the right ways (i.e. you’re building trust).
Continuously showing up the right way
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." It’s easy to be a good leader when everything is going well. However, the most impactful moments that build or destroy trust happen when mistakes are made. When the ball is dropped, provide support rather than admonishment.
If you feel your employee has made a costly error, try to ask yourself these questions:
What type of support should I provide in this moment?
How can I help to resolve this issue?
How can I help my employee course correct?
Who else can I reach out to in my network to help solve this issue?
Change your mindset
During challenge moments we naturally want to understand why the mistake happened in the first place. Although, identifying what happened is important, the appropriate time to focus retroactivity should occur after the error has been solved (i.e. focus on solving the issue, then identify how the ball was dropped).
If you decide to bring in vendor support to facilitate a workshop or launch other training/education to inspire behaviors that build trust, make sure to reinforce these lessons.
Make the training stick
Bruce Lee once said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." When we repeatedly practice something, we become experts at it.
However, when we’re exposed to many behaviors all at once, without any additional reinforcement, none of them tend to stick. Furthermore, after the initial training occurs it should continuously be reinforced into small chunks. This may be sending managers bi-weekly or monthly follow-up assignments that instruct employees to apply a single behavior or action that was part of the training. Additionally, the behaviors discussed during the training have to become a common language of the organization moving forward.
We all learn through three different mediums: Visual, audio, and kinesthetics (applying knowledge through action). The best way for learning retention to occur is by taking advantage of all three of these mediums. Good training programs should involve visual examples and/or a self paced virtual learning prior to a live session. Additionally, training should have group discussions allowing participants to put concepts into their own words (i.e. audio learning). Lastly, practical application needs to take place in training through creative activities and role playing scenarios (i.e. kinesthetics).
When pushing forward to get results, foster a psychologically safe environment for your team.
Taking Ownership = Psychological Safety = Trust
Rapid scale can lead to a reactive mindset that can cause communication or actions that are poorly thought out. Additionally, when pressure is high, managers and leaders do not want to be blamed for costly errors they feel are caused by their direct reports. This facilitates a culture of managers reacting harshly and placing blame on their teams, rather than themselves.
After the mistake has been resolved, you may find yourself in these situations and it’s important to ask the following questions:
Are there any possible actions that I could have taken that would have stopped this mistake from happening?
What type of additional support could I have provided to my employees that would have prevented this mistake from happening?
Were my employees clear on the overall vision I explained?
How could I have clarified things more effectively?
The purpose of asking these questions is to find a way to take ownership of the situation.
As a leader you must own everything that happens in your organization and direct teams. Additionally, this ownership must be genuine. When employees work for a leader that demonstrates authentic ownership, it becomes contagious.
Eventually, entire organizations adopt this mentality and people realize that when they take ownership, it’s appreciated. Environments that foster employees having the ability to own their failures and grow from them, create psychological safety (i.e. I can make a mistake and not lose my job). Psychological safety is directly linked to organizations that have a higher level of trust.
Moving Forward
Over the last few years as a society we have faced challenges that go beyond the workplace. Now the word “layoff” is a common hashtag on LinkedIn. Trust is at an all time low. As leaders, you need to find a way to change that at your organization. If you prioritize it, your people will go above and beyond for you.